lets try to remember
the reason i began to feel this way
was it because i stopped trying
or was it because others stopped trying
i thrive on happiness and desire
when others are hurting
i try to end that hurt
and when im hurting
they return the favor
but when that is no longer enough
and people need more from me
i can no longer provide
because i have nothing
take it, its yours
and they take take take
and im left her feeling used
and i no longer want to end the hurt
because no one is helping me
and thats because everyone needs help
and they suck they energy out of those in need
careless careless careless

A Good Bleeder

round dark eyes
constantly judging
weighing me down
beautiful pouty lips
constantly criticizing
breaking me down
strong arms
that only hold me when it's convenient
letting me down
an unnecessary jealously
tears us apart
i love you
they say you're a good bleeder
but i don't know how
when you're heart isn't doing a very good job

What I've Always Wanted

Sitting on a cloud, exhausted.
I am so relieved to be sitting on something so comfortable.
On something so right for the occassion.
I am grateful for this cloud to be here at this exact moment, when I need it the most.
Thank you, cirrus. Thank you hints of blue puff.
I've been trudging up this mountain for some time now.
Waiting to see what it's like up here.
I don't want to go back, but part of me does.
I went on this journey to tell others about it.
But I am just so eternally comfortable.
Sitting here isn't going to change the world, though.
Staying in this place, I'm not going to accomplish my goals.
And what is the point of goals if you're eternally happy?
Selflessness, modesty.
Remember that the world doesn't revolve around you.
Although it seems that way, all of the time.
Get up, I can do it.
I can do it for you.

Comfortability

i can't say things
without later regret
i am the person
i hate
i say things that aren't funny
and wait for a laugh
i say things that may be interesting
but are not
i used to have friends that didn't judge me
but they're gone now
somewhere better, hopefully.

bah

predictable
isn't precisely suitable
i am afraid of change
but strongly need it
not necessarily something drastic
just something
to improve
this repetitive cycle
of recurring events..

if any other person were to tell you this
you'd listen
someeeeeeeeeeeone with life experience
with stories to tell.

really should

of course i know,
i'm just ignoring the fact.
of course i'm aware,
i'm just ignoring the world.
i'm quite capable,
but i'm afraid to try.
i have it in me,
but i can't put forth the effort.
i'm my own anchor,
weighing myself down.
i'm the only thing,
keeping myself from success.
i'll tell you i'm going to try,
but it's just another fantasy.
because i have the will,
but i don't know the way.
i want to make myself happy,
but i don't how to make progress.
i should stop making excuses.
i really should.