What I've Always Wanted

Sitting on a cloud, exhausted.
I am so relieved to be sitting on something so comfortable.
On something so right for the occassion.
I am grateful for this cloud to be here at this exact moment, when I need it the most.
Thank you, cirrus. Thank you hints of blue puff.
I've been trudging up this mountain for some time now.
Waiting to see what it's like up here.
I don't want to go back, but part of me does.
I went on this journey to tell others about it.
But I am just so eternally comfortable.
Sitting here isn't going to change the world, though.
Staying in this place, I'm not going to accomplish my goals.
And what is the point of goals if you're eternally happy?
Selflessness, modesty.
Remember that the world doesn't revolve around you.
Although it seems that way, all of the time.
Get up, I can do it.
I can do it for you.

Comfortability

i can't say things
without later regret
i am the person
i hate
i say things that aren't funny
and wait for a laugh
i say things that may be interesting
but are not
i used to have friends that didn't judge me
but they're gone now
somewhere better, hopefully.

bah

predictable
isn't precisely suitable
i am afraid of change
but strongly need it
not necessarily something drastic
just something
to improve
this repetitive cycle
of recurring events..

if any other person were to tell you this
you'd listen
someeeeeeeeeeeone with life experience
with stories to tell.

really should

of course i know,
i'm just ignoring the fact.
of course i'm aware,
i'm just ignoring the world.
i'm quite capable,
but i'm afraid to try.
i have it in me,
but i can't put forth the effort.
i'm my own anchor,
weighing myself down.
i'm the only thing,
keeping myself from success.
i'll tell you i'm going to try,
but it's just another fantasy.
because i have the will,
but i don't know the way.
i want to make myself happy,
but i don't how to make progress.
i should stop making excuses.
i really should.

fishy

oh how i wish,
i was a fish,
who swam all day,
constantly forgetting,
everything i say.

i won't feel regret,
since i continually forget.
everything i've said,
that i didn't mean,
won't seem as bad the next day,
since the memory faded away.

i won't remember a thing you do,
even the things you've put me through.
i won't be mad,
i won't shed a tear,
i don't remember the things that i fear.
i constantly forget,
the times we've shared.
maybe at one point in time,
there was a time i cared.

but i don't remember.
oh how i wish,
i would remember.
because now i don't know
anything
anything at all